My Secrets / Faults

1. Crying in front of people is something I cannot do because I fear looking weak or like a baby.  When there are those moments where it is expected of me to cry and I don't, I seem like I don't even care. But that is not the case.
2. Reading and writing are my way to avoid real life when I don't know what to do.
3. I avoid my problems, thinking they will fix themselves on their own...they don't, though...
4. My injuries make it so that I cannot do things that others can, so I try to do those things because I get jealous and/or feel weak because I cannot participate like the others.
5. I have trouble expressing my emotions.
6. Depression has always tried to grab ahold of me, and it succeeds rather often.
7. I am a very shy and sensitive person, but no one knows that side of me until I tell them.
8. Graduating from high school terrifies me because I don't know what I want to go to college for like I used to and if I choose the wrong courses...I don't think I can afford to take the wrong courses...
9. I have a moment of pure panic every time I sit in the passenger-side seat up front (aka - 'shotgun') because that was where I sat two years ago when I was rear-ended.
10. Getting close to someone terrifies me.
11. I am scared that I will die alone.
12. I am afraid of completely opening up to someone because I fear what they will think of me.
13. Sympathy only makes my mood darken because although I want you to acknowledge that I am going through something rough, I don't want you to feel like you are better than me and my life absolutely sucks.

If you feel that any of these apply to you as well, please comment below because I want to understand like my friend now does that I am not as alone in this as I feel.