Cutting and Such

A dear friend, that's what she was to me, but then she cut herself. All she wants is a guy's attention, she want's it to the point that when she doesn't have a guy's attention, then she becomes depressed and she feels as if she needs to die. That was horrible to see when I knew she was previously a beautiful, strong, independant person whom I looked up to when times got hard. Now I look down on her and I don't know if I can even call her my friend anymore. She spends way too much time talking to her new boyfriend and she always tells us the latest idea she has for their children's names and what their wedding will be like. All of that - from a 17 year old girl! I am extremely dissapointed in what she has become and while I have tried time and time again to help her, she refuses to let anyone help her. See, she has this cycle.

1. Get a boyfriend
2. Plan their marriage
3. Get into a fight
4. Break up
5. Try to kill herself
6. Get back together
7. Break up again
8. Try to kill herself again
9. Get a new boyfriend

The cycle is never-ending and after three years of it only getting worse and worse,  she has hurt herself horribly, I have sought out help for her. I forced her to see the guidance counselor, but that only made her hate me. Well - fine! Hate me, but I love you dearly as a friend! Or so I did once. Now I have given up on her because no matter what I do, I cannot save her from herself. Now I know that sounds horrible to give up on someone who needs help, but I was almost driven to cut myself one day because I had gotten so miserable by trying to help her. I don't want to have to share the burden she has put upon herself, so I have to get out before she drags me so far down that my hole is so deep I will never get out.