Ego similis vobis or ego amare te...

I wish I could say these words to the person's face. I mean it, ego amare te. Or I at least know for sure that ego similis vobis. And if you are reading this and you know this is for you, message me on Facebook or comment on this. I want you to know, but I cannot say it until I know how you feel. Yet I will not know how you feel until I say it to you.

Post Secret Helps

Starting to believe in myself again and I must say, it feels great. Post Secret is a group effort to help defeat bullying, and now that our school has started it, I am extremely glad they did because it really does help. Once I find the link, I will post the URL to my school's post secret video.

Work was FUN

Work was fun tonight, laughter in the cooler, laughter at the registers, drama in the break room, drama at the registers...fun...actually, it really was. No sarcasm at all.

Growing Up with Music

Remember some of those songs from when you were growing up? Now imagine hearing them again after not hearing them for almost five three years. I remember this song: You and Me - Lifehouse and I remember singing along to it at the top of my lungs and not caring if someone heard. Now I sing quietly in fear of judgment...I miss those days and I missed this song. Just give it a listen. It's an amazing song that I still know word-for-word.

Flirt or Friend?

So how do you know if it's flirting or just being kind? Cause right now I'm confused on where the line is that divides the two.

That Really Grinds My Gears!

What really grinds my gears?
Hmm...maybe it's how you are good enough for someone once and then - BAM! You're nothing. They're not even considering you worthy of being seen near them.

Interesting Architecture / Sights

Leeds Castle, Kent, England. 

It was Built in 1119!

The Best Graffiti I Have Ever Seen! 

Water bridge in Germany!

What's the point, though?

Care for a cup of tea?

This is the best fish building I have ever seen, hands down!

A Note To 'Mama'

If you had the chance to write to your 'mama' one last time...

Would you write?

How would you feel?

What exactly would you write?

Would you let her know this was the last

letter you would ever be able to send to her?

I believe some letters should just never be written.

However,

This letter the group Queen sent out...

Well, I guess it's the best note you could possibly

Forget all about and not send to your 'mama' as a farewell note.

I mean, come on! Who would tell their mother to carry on as if nothing

really matters after they learn that their child just killed a man by putting a gun

against his head and pulling the trigger - so he's dead. Bad last note if you ask me!

Here's the note I am referring to:

If you understand why this letter is not really a letter at all, but lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody -

by Queen, of course - then I am proud to have you reading my blog. If you didn't know the song or failed to recognize the song until I just stated it, here's a link to the song so that you can hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHbCE53s9hQ

Randomness = Think!!!

Randomness doesn't always come easy.
Sometimes I really have to think about it...
Then I realize how random it is to think up something random...
So doesn't that kinda mean that everything is random?
Never mind, I don't even understand my analogy.
That is an analogy, right?
Damn, I can't think today.
Whatever, I'm done blogging for at least 12 hours.
Or at least until I say otherwise.
Not that you really care,
But I thought writing whatever I think...
Well, that's random, right?
And now I am amazed if you are still reading this.
So if you are...
Um, go eat a cookie...
Or give yourself a pat on the back...
Or just feel awesome that you had nothing better to do.
Like hang out with friends,
Exercise and eat a cookie,
Shop around for a good sale,
Read a book,
Watch a movie,
Write about your life like I am right now,
Wait! That's not something better to do with your life!
Don't blog.
Only random crazy people blog.
Wait, I'm not crazy!
You know what, that's it.
I'm actually done writing this damn post now.

Produce At Work

So I got to work in Produce today and it kept me working up until the end of my shift. I was constantly filling the produce or cleaning up or wrapping zucchini or helping someone out with something. Don't get me wrong, though, I love when I have a busy day at work! Probably because then the time goes faster and...well, I just do.

Life

Crush Over, Crush Begun

Something I have started to realise:
I am over my previous crush. I met him through work, and although I plan to be friends with him still, now I am no longer obsessed with trying to make him see that I am falling for him - because no longer am I falling for him. Actually, I don't even really know why I liked him in the first place.
Now I realise that someone I have been friends with for a while is the person I have really been falling for all the while. I will not mention his name in fear that he will read this because I don't think I am ready for others to talk of my newly discovered crush. I will say this much, though. He has always been nice to me and whenever I am around him I cannot help but have a better day. Already two of my managers at work have seen that something is growing between us, so maybe soon he will too. Hopefully he isn't the type of guy who wants a girl to make the first move and ask him out, though, because I have never done that before and I doubt I will be able to with him.

Videos For Free

Have you ever wanted to make a weird video with characters you have seen on someone else's video on youtube? Well, there is a free video-making website called xtranormal that allows you to mess around, choose actions, words, characters, and backgrounds for whatever you planned on making. But the options are very limited, so don't get upset if the website does not have something you want. After all, it is free.

CAUTION: It turns out that only your first video is free!

My Secrets / Faults

1. Crying in front of people is something I cannot do because I fear looking weak or like a baby.  When there are those moments where it is expected of me to cry and I don't, I seem like I don't even care. But that is not the case.
2. Reading and writing are my way to avoid real life when I don't know what to do.
3. I avoid my problems, thinking they will fix themselves on their own...they don't, though...
4. My injuries make it so that I cannot do things that others can, so I try to do those things because I get jealous and/or feel weak because I cannot participate like the others.
5. I have trouble expressing my emotions.
6. Depression has always tried to grab ahold of me, and it succeeds rather often.
7. I am a very shy and sensitive person, but no one knows that side of me until I tell them.
8. Graduating from high school terrifies me because I don't know what I want to go to college for like I used to and if I choose the wrong courses...I don't think I can afford to take the wrong courses...
9. I have a moment of pure panic every time I sit in the passenger-side seat up front (aka - 'shotgun') because that was where I sat two years ago when I was rear-ended.
10. Getting close to someone terrifies me.
11. I am scared that I will die alone.
12. I am afraid of completely opening up to someone because I fear what they will think of me.
13. Sympathy only makes my mood darken because although I want you to acknowledge that I am going through something rough, I don't want you to feel like you are better than me and my life absolutely sucks.

If you feel that any of these apply to you as well, please comment below because I want to understand like my friend now does that I am not as alone in this as I feel.

My New Quote

"I apologize for my brain's lack of understanding." - Alyssa Hellenbrand

English Class - Rhyming Time!

I don't know why I thought of this, but earlier today I was in english class- ignoring the teacher because I do not enjoy her teaching methods -and I was trying to rhyme. I thought of the word tears and came up with a short little six-word-rhyming that I thought others might enjoy.

Crying Tears,

Yelling Fears,

Drinking Beers.

Yea, like I said, I was just trying to rhyme. Do not drink beer, it will only make you worse, though. This is not meant to be suggestive to waste your life away one beer (or other type of alcohol) at a time. I hope this gave you at least a small amount of amusement. Have a random day!

Mealworms and Carrots

Have you ever seen a mealworm attack a carrot? Well, I am right now, and that is pretty amusing. The mealworms wake up and suddenly they're all over the carrots. I tried picking up a carrot, but the mealworms seemed to really want it, so I let them have it. (they were attached to the carrot)

No Randomness...

I don't even know anything random to say today...how sad is that?

Fire Drills Aren't Helping!

As far as I can see, the fire drills are not preparing us for a real fire. All they make me think is, "Cool, now I get to go outside and listen to music!" No one is far enough away from the building, no one is quiet. It is like a social time where we mingle with the people who we know but don't have classes with. It's where we gossip, where we have fun, and where we most certainly are not learning how to be safe if there was ever a real fire. We need to have less fire drills so we will take them more seriously.

Cutting and Such

A dear friend, that's what she was to me, but then she cut herself. All she wants is a guy's attention, she want's it to the point that when she doesn't have a guy's attention, then she becomes depressed and she feels as if she needs to die. That was horrible to see when I knew she was previously a beautiful, strong, independant person whom I looked up to when times got hard. Now I look down on her and I don't know if I can even call her my friend anymore. She spends way too much time talking to her new boyfriend and she always tells us the latest idea she has for their children's names and what their wedding will be like. All of that - from a 17 year old girl! I am extremely dissapointed in what she has become and while I have tried time and time again to help her, she refuses to let anyone help her. See, she has this cycle.

1. Get a boyfriend
2. Plan their marriage
3. Get into a fight
4. Break up
5. Try to kill herself
6. Get back together
7. Break up again
8. Try to kill herself again
9. Get a new boyfriend

The cycle is never-ending and after three years of it only getting worse and worse,  she has hurt herself horribly, I have sought out help for her. I forced her to see the guidance counselor, but that only made her hate me. Well - fine! Hate me, but I love you dearly as a friend! Or so I did once. Now I have given up on her because no matter what I do, I cannot save her from herself. Now I know that sounds horrible to give up on someone who needs help, but I was almost driven to cut myself one day because I had gotten so miserable by trying to help her. I don't want to have to share the burden she has put upon herself, so I have to get out before she drags me so far down that my hole is so deep I will never get out.

Some Interesting Pictures I Found